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Why Do We Do What We Do?

How do you spend your spare time? It's ok to be honest with yourself here, no one's listening. It's just you and the written words here together.


A lot of people, myself included, enjoy spending time escaping. There are so many ways to escape reality. That's not to say that reality is an uncomfortable place to be. My personal reality is quite comfortable, but I still love to escape in my mind. It's kind of a fun place to wander around in. That's what healing will do for a person.


That wasn't always the case for me though. Before my deep healing journey started in the early 90s, I spent a lot of time doing some other things. Some are what I would call self-medicating. It was my time, it was my choice. It wasn't always what you may think it was. Don't start judging. There are a lot of different ways to self-medicate. Escaping means different things to different people at different times. Again, I hadn't started my healing journey yet back then.


Why do I tell you this? I'll tell you why, because I spent plenty of time judging myself for said behavior. That was a total waste of my time! I was raised not to judge others. My dad always taught us, without ever using the words, that people all people are different and that they each have their own paths to walk. He was kind to others, he treated everyone the way that he would treat his children. Like most, that was better than he would treat himself. He taught us, by example, to never judge people. When he passed I gave the eulogy. I spoke of this very part of him because, at his core, this is who he was. Our whole family, cousins included, knew him to always be honest and nonjudgemental. That's how we were raised and that's who we all grew up to be.


Why do humans judge other humans? There are a few answers to this question, but they all have a common thread. Fear. Because there are parts of ourselves that scare us. When we see that part showing up in other people, we judge them harshly because we're actually judging ourselves! I see, all too often, women judging women for being overweight. Of course, those that are doing it are the ones that have unhealed struggles with their own weight. Most of them are not even overweight, but they still have that part of themselves that remains unhealed. This is just the most common thing I see all the time. I've done it myself. I'm actively healing that part of myself.


Here's an interesting part of life, I have found that as I heal one part, I'm able to see another that is still hidden in the shadows. As I heal one thing, I'm pulling back a layer that allows light in. That light often highlights what's in shadow. This is why we call it Shadow Work.


That's what it is. Judgment is a signal that this part of ourselves needs healing. Here's where we get to make the choice whether or not to continue as we are, in judgment of our own reflection in the form of others, or to hunker down and heal that part of us. To do the shadow work, or to let the shadow fester is the question.


But How? We must incorporate that wounded part of ourselves into the wholeness of our beings. This is where I get to remind you that there is no healing without copious amounts of LOVE. Yup. We have to love all the parts of us, especially the parts that we don't like. That's the first step to incorporating all of ourselves into the wholeness of us. I'm not going to lie to you, this takes a lot of time and some really hard work. Accepting all the parts of us is how we accept all the parts of others. Especially if we've been in that same spot ourselves. Love turns everything around! Love yourself first.


Here are a few things that I've found that work.

*Spend time alone. This means, real alone time. No phones and computers, no reading or busywork. Actual time with you.

*Get to know yourself. Discover the parts of you that you really like and admit to yourself that these parts are excellent! You have a bunch of things to be proud of.

*Stop being afraid of the parts of you that you don't like. It sounds silly, but judgment is a low vibration that lives in you. Fear is a low vibration. Find its source.

*Once you've found it, accept it. Accept that it lives inside of you. Get to know it. Then bring it in real close and examine what caused it.

*The tricky part is not further judging the cause. You must understand that it's living there and is a key part of who you are. Now you get to heal it. **The most important part is to love it. Yup, no matter how ugly it may be, you must find love for it within you. Open your heart and let yourself sprinkle love all over it!


This is what creates a truly authentic human. Think about the people that you would label as authentic. Would you also label them as judgmental? I'll bet that answer is no.


My point is this; No matter what it is that you do with your spare time, it's Your Time, you get to do You. I hope you choose to spend time healing yourself. In doing that, you contribute in making the world a better and kinder place for all of us.


With Much Love, I Wish You Light

~Andrea

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